Selfish...Selfless...Self...
Selfish: Concerned chiefly or only with oneself
Selfless: Having, exhibiting, or motivated by no concern for oneself; unselfish
Self: The total, essential, or particular being of a person; the individual
I started my entry off with these definitions because I feel that it is very ironic to have them sitting right before my eyes and still not understand them because I don't know who I am...In more simple terms, I believe an individual makes a choice, to either be selfish or selfless in order to obtain "self" A crucial decision in fact. I am torn by this. In my dreams I have this heroic view of myself, a selfless person that helps others. When in all reality I'm this selfish teenager that can't help to think about herself first in order to become that person. The irony in this is the fact that I have to put myself first, in order to become this selfless person, in order to become a whole spirit. How does a person obtain "wholeness" without being selfish first? Or how is a person a good person if they are a selfish person? Or must you first be selfish in order to be selfless?
I'm asking these questions more and more as my birthday edges nearer and nearer and I think its because I expect myself to have some sort of revelation, understanding. It'd be nice if the turning of age set an exact date for this revelation and understanding and so I constantly try to force it upon myself. Perhaps that's what makes me naive. Can you attach a clock to wisdom and knowledge? Sure, you gain experience with age, but does everyone necessarily gain wisdom and knowledge? Only some people choose to turn that experience into something that you've actually learned too, not just experienced. I don't know, I'm not making any sense these days.
2 Comments:
I don't know if you get into a lot of philosophy type readings, but there was actually a very popular movment that was brought up by author Ayn Rand known as "Objectivism". Here is a direct quote from her speaking of the philosophy:
"My philosophy, in essence, is the concept of man as a heroic being, with his own happiness as the moral purpose of his life, with productive achievement as his noblest activity, and reason as his only absoulte."
So there have been many people who thought about the same things you are questioning now. I think in order for us to develope into a "self", you have to be "selfish" to obtain the level of being "selfless". You first must focus on what you want and what is best for you before you begin to take higher roads of being selfless.
Yeah, I wish I read more philosophy, but thanks for the info, I don't feel completely lost anymore.
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