Crushed Into A Thousand Pieces

I'v never felt so hurt, so betrayed...I need to get this out of my mind, I'm already starting to dwell on it and that hardened feeling in my heart, the one that makes you feel like you can't breathe, won't go away. I'm trying to forget about it, trying to forgive...However, now that I am separated from that person, on my own, I'm starting to feel angry again, starting to feel that hate...I don't know how long I'm going to have this on my mind, I hope not for long, because I can already feel it eating away at the deepest part of my heart. I need to get over it, I need to move on, and I truly,truly want to. But I've never been the forgive and forget type of person, sure forgive, but forget? I wish I could forget it, I wish it never happened...I didn't do anything and I still feel like it's on me to move on, deal with it Amanda...I've cried, but I can't cry anymore, the sadness is gone and sadly enough only anger is left in me, only hurt... I feel crippled but I'll hide it, I'll be sad but I'll act happy, I'll be thinking about it all the time, but not... It's already in my dreams, haunting me, if I make myself not think about it that day, it comes to me at night to torture me. I'm left with the pieces, the pieces of my heart completely shattered and separated. I need to put them back together and I will. But will I find all of them? Will they fit back together the same way? I'm scared. My new heart will be solid, will be stronger, I will feel less, more closed off from my emotions. That's the price...you deal with it.