Life or Something Like It

I'm starting to feel that feeling again, that robotic feeling...I need to change something in my life before I become depressed because of it. I get bored with my life, with myself, if it stays the same for too long...I slowly slip into a dreary nothingness. I'm sure I'd be a very fickle person if I wasn't so afraid to make those changes in the first place. I hold myself back and I don't know why. I avoid things, including feelings and people. Separate myself into my own little world, which eventually becomes too familiar to me and I become depressed because of it. I need to break free of something, perhaps myself, I don't know. I think I'm waiting for a moment that will never come, this brief moment of realization and self discovery...It's probably not that easy, nothing ever is, in real life...