So Far Down

I feel like I don't know my place, my place when it comes to other people. Who am I to them, a daughter, a sister, a friend, a lover...A lot of the questions I ask myself on here keep coming back to me, when the fuck will it all make sense, when will I get some fucking answers? I'm starting to feel frustrated and anxious...My frustration and my anxt continue to make me impulsive and impatient...The walls are closing in and I can't breathe...I feel like I've walked right into a trap in which I'll meet my doom and there is no Indiana Jones to save me...A trap that I constructed, a trap with no possible escape. A trap, what do I mean by saying 'a trap', do I mean life, do I mean you, do I mean me? Don't ask me, cause I don't even fucking know. It goes on and on...'it', what the fuck is 'it', what the fuck does 'it' mean...BAH, I'm a fucking teenager, a fucking kid. I try to make sense, I try to give meaning to anything that I'm involved with and now I feel like I'm losing touch with why I do that. Why do it, for who, for what, who says it has to be meaningful, who says it has to make sense...I am just done with trying to make sense, I never succeeded at it anyway.