Weekend

I've decided I'll have one of those entries where I just tell you what happened this past weekend...A weekend of celebration and events none the less. Thursday, which was the actual day of my 3 yr anniversary, we went to Towson and ate sushi at my favorite sushi restaraunt, Sushi Hana and saw Star Wars. Then Friday...well, I had a minor medical lapse, but I didn't let that stop me, five hours in the hospital drugged into la la land and I was back to normal, got home, took a shower, got dressed and tried to coffee myself out of the drugs they had so harshly put into my veins while I was there (took four nurses, I have tiny veins, you should see my arms, I look like a heroin addict they bruised me so badly) By the way, my medical lapse was actually a migrain, or a migrain attack more like it, the left side of my body, including the left side of my face, actually went numb and I was blind, pretty scary...They gave me fennerdin and codeine, I couldn't think, I could look around and everything, but I really wasn't there...Anyway, so, after some coffee and a lecture from my parents about being careful driving etc I was on my way to Brian's house, looking fabulous I might add considering I was just released from the hospital not an hour before then. After Brian was finished getting ready we went to a restaraunt called Copelands, which is very good, it's become sort of a tradition for our anniversary dinner. After dinner, I was pretty tired, had a pretty rough day and the drowsiness from that stuff they gave me still hadn't worn off yet, so we went home and brian watched the movie I rented while I fell asleep. Saturday we actually woke up really late, we just stayed in bed til like 2. Around 5 we decided to go and look at various sporting good stores to do some research for the new bike and blades that I am getting and I actually ended up getting my blades that day too, love them. After some shopping we finally got home around 930 and we ate dinner and then I fell asleep to the clicking of Brian's keyboard until he woke me up and we went upstairs to bed. He was actually doing some research on the trails we were gonna blade the next day, we've made kind of a point to doing some kind of athletic work every weekend, feels good. After we bladed for a couple of hours we went shopping for a bit and then headed over to his friends cookout, we ate and drank and then we somehow recruited like 5 or 6 people to go blading, its amazing how many people still have rollerblades, they're making a come back, ha ha! After the blading we got everyone to go play basketball, I played a game and a half until I noticed my right toe was bleeding profusely and my left toe was actually bruised really bad, somehow I bruised both of my nail beds and woke up today in extreme pain. If this has ever happened to anyone from playing basketball could you let me know why it happens and what I can do to prevent it? So, I suppose that concludes a weekend of celebration, exercise and injury. Cheers!

I'll Be...

Today is our 3 year anniversary...It seems like such a long time...such a long and arduous journey...Although I hope that this is only the beginning for us...It's when I think about the future and see myself and my life and I just can't imagine it without you that I have hope...It's about the times when I'm watching a movie and two people are getting married or starting their life together and I automatically think about us...These are the times that I truly know that we were meant to be together. I look back and see how much we've grown and see how far we've come. And I think that when you find someone that you can grow and change with you should hold on to them for as long as you possibly can. I know that you bring out the best in me, I know that you make me a better person and I know that if we weren't together that it would be like starting over because you fill this part of me that just wasn't alive before I met you and I don't know if I could ever fill that space completely with anyone else. You make me a whole person...

 

I love you more than anyone will ever love you

You and Me by: Lifehouse

what day is it
and in what month
this clock never seemed so alive
I can't keep up
and I can't back down
I've been losing so much time

cause it's you and me and all of the people
with nothing to do
nothing to lose
and it's you and me and all of the people
and I don't know why
I can't keep my eyes off of you

all of the things that I want to say
just aren't coming out right
I'm tripping on words

you got my head spinning
I don't know where to go from here

cause it's you and me and all of the people
with nothing to do
nothing to prove
and it's you and me and all of the people
and I don't know why
I can't keep my eyes off of you

there's something about you now
I can't quite figure out
everything he does is beautiful
everything he does is right

cause its you and me and all of the people
with nothing to do
nothing to lose
and it's you and me and all of the people
and I don't know why
I can't keep my eyes off of you

what day is it
and in what month
this clock never seemed so alive

So Far Down

I feel like I don't know my place, my place when it comes to other people. Who am I to them, a daughter, a sister, a friend, a lover...A lot of the questions I ask myself on here keep coming back to me, when the fuck will it all make sense, when will I get some fucking answers? I'm starting to feel frustrated and anxious...My frustration and my anxt continue to make me impulsive and impatient...The walls are closing in and I can't breathe...I feel like I've walked right into a trap in which I'll meet my doom and there is no Indiana Jones to save me...A trap that I constructed, a trap with no possible escape. A trap, what do I mean by saying 'a trap', do I mean life, do I mean you, do I mean me? Don't ask me, cause I don't even fucking know. It goes on and on...'it', what the fuck is 'it', what the fuck does 'it' mean...BAH, I'm a fucking teenager, a fucking kid. I try to make sense, I try to give meaning to anything that I'm involved with and now I feel like I'm losing touch with why I do that. Why do it, for who, for what, who says it has to be meaningful, who says it has to make sense...I am just done with trying to make sense, I never succeeded at it anyway.