Beginning and Ending...Starting and Finishing...

Today is the end of something and the beginning of something, both scare me, both mean change. I don't feel like starting over. I don't feel like being responsible for every decision I make. Every decision I make from this day on affects me and only me, I'm not anyone's child anymore...I still feel like I'm 14 years old, I'm actually still stuck at the last transition of my life, the last change, leaving middle school and going to highschool. Now I'm leaving highschool and going to college, so I'm two steps behind now...I don't accept these transitions...I hate them...I can't escape the past...I don't want to for some reason...How do I move on? How do I become this label that has been placed upon my chest making it easier and harder for me to breathe...This label that says adult...This label that means freedom and imprisonment...I don't know where to go from here...I'm drowning in my own 'after-birth', nobody is there to keep my head above water and I won't scream for help.